I’ve dubbed 2017 as my year of no fear.
There are all sorts of people who would look at me and think I’m already living that motto. What they probably don’t know is that I battle fear to do what little advances I seem to make.
I struggle with impostor syndrome – the idea that everyone can see that I’m bluffing my way in business and the whole house of cards will come crashing down when “exposed”.
There’s the fear of never achieving the dreams in my head. Of being trapped in living in mediocrity because I finally gave up the next time life sucker-punched me.
There’s the fear of doing or saying the wrong thing that causes people I love and respect to be disappointed in me.
Fear of becoming another statistic – another failure in society – because I didn’t grow up in the right family. In the right neighborhood. Having the right connections or the financial backup.
And the paralyzing fear of rejection.
I was unaware of how much it affected me and permeated my life. One day a few of us were heading either to or from volunteering at the church kitchen. William, a new friend I had met that day, listened silently as I talked in the car and then said “You say ‘I’m afraid’ a lot”. That stunned me. I had no idea.
Fears for every season
Every facet of life comes with new fears. Work ones. Family ones. Teenage ones. Adult ones. Community ones. Retirement ones. If you conquered one as a child, there will be a new one as a teenager. When you get over the ones in school, you’ll find more as an adult in the workforce. So we either learn how to face them or go through life continually limiting ourselves.
A daily dose of fear
Many force-feed themselves a daily dose of fear with the news. Listen. The news makes themselves relevant by sensationalizing fear. And they’ll tell you that you’ll be ill-informed unless you pay them mind. Yes, I understand the need to be informed. But we must be wary of the things we allow into our psyche. I once noticed fear growing inside me from listening to a daily radio program. I. Stopped. Listening. And the feelings of fear subsided. Try it sometime. If you feel fearful about something based on the news you allow in, try turning it off for a week or month. Maybe it’s a friend that always gives you the worse case scenario. Maybe it’s a blog that you read weekly. Maybe you need to stop googling your symptoms. Turn it off for a period and take note of how you feel in the absence. You might be amazed.
The absence of trust
The older I get the more clear it becomes that fear represents an absence of trust in God. After every national election I see despair. Everyone is wringing their hands – or at least half the country is. The nation was going to fall apart. We need to be vigilant or the government was going to run over us. Where is God in that scenario? Was He caught off guard by the elections? Do you really trust Him to watch over your family or was that the job of the government or a watchdog group? If you notice fear in your life, take note of where your trust lies. Is it in your abilities? Your watchfulness? The information you receive? Or is it in God? Again, not saying to be uninformed or stoic about the happenings around us. These are simply questions to be mindful of how fear develops and effects our lives.
It has been a number of years since being called out on fear. Here I am finally looking it in the face. It’s never too late to tackle your fears. Don’t isolate it to the big things – heights, public speaking, dogs, etc. Be aware of the small things. The times you say “yes, but I’m afraid that”. You might think it’s just a figure of speech, but it’s still a mental block that is holding you back from moving forward. I’m not going to lie. I’ve delayed on things – trying to work up the guts to do it. But I will do it. I challenge you to face your fears.
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