One year I dubbed it as my year of no fear.
There are all sorts of people who would look at me and think I’m already living that motto. What they probably don’t know is that I battle fear to do what little advances I seem to make.
I struggle with impostor syndrome – the idea that everyone can see that I’m bluffing my way in business and the whole house of cards will come crashing down when “exposed”.
There’s the fear of never achieving the dreams in my head. Of being trapped in living in mediocrity because I finally gave up the next time life sucker-punched me.
There’s the fear of doing or saying the wrong thing that causes people I love and respect to be disappointed in me.
Fear of becoming another statistic – another failure in society – because I didn’t grow up in the right family. In the right neighborhood. Having the right connections or the financial backup.
And the paralyzing fear of rejection.
I was unaware of how much it affected me and permeated my life, until it was brought to my attention. One day, a few of us were heading either to or from volunteering at a church kitchen. William, a new friend I had met that day, listened silently as I talked in the car and then said “You say ‘I’m afraid’ a lot”. That stunned me. I had no idea.
(Parenthetical insert – this is how I know the Holy Spirit can use anybody and anything to turn the light on in your spirit).
Fears for every season
Every facet of life comes with new fears. Work ones. Family ones. Teenage ones. Adult ones. Community ones. Retirement ones. If you conquered one as a child, there will be a new one as a teenager. When you get over the ones in school, you’ll find more as an adult in the workforce. So we either learn how to face them or go through life continually limiting ourselves because of them.
A daily dose of fear
Many force-feed themselves a daily dose of fear with the news. Listen, the news makes themselves relevant by sensationalizing fear. They select the news and headlines they want you to hear, and sweep others under a rug when they don’t want you to know about it. Let that sink in. News is curated for a purpose. And they’ll tell you that you’ll be ill-informed unless you pay them mind. Yes, I understand the need to be informed. But we must be wary of the things we allow into our psyche.
I once noticed fear growing inside me from listening to a daily radio program. I. Stopped. Listening. And the feelings of fear subsided. Try it sometime. If you feel fearful about something based on the news you allow in, try turning it off for a week or month. Maybe it’s a friend that always gives you the worse case scenario. Or maybe it’s a podcast that you listen to weekly. Maybe you need to stop googling your symptoms. Turn it off for a period and take note of how you feel in the absence. It might amaze you.
The absence of trust
The older I get the more clear it becomes that fear represents an absence of trust in God. After every national election I see despair. Everyone is wringing their hands – or at least half the country is. The nation was going to fall apart. We need to be vigilant or the government was going to run over us. Where is God in that scenario? Did the elections catch God off guard? Do you really trust Him to watch over your family or was that the job of the government or a watchdog group? If you notice fear in your life, take note of where your trust lies. Is it in your abilities? Your watchfulness? The information you receive? Or is it in God?
Again, I’m not saying to be uninformed or stoic about the happenings around us. We definitely should be involved in our communities and in politics, and in other pillars of society. These are simply questions to be mindful of how fear enters our lives, develops and effects us, and whether or not our claims of “trusting God” are legit or not. Are we a doer of the Word of just a hearer? Isn’t it funny how life seems to test our commitment to Christ?
The fears you don’t face become your regrets. Today be brave.
– Unknown
Identify and face it
It has been a number of years since I was called out on fear. It’s something I continually have to address, because we live in a fallen world and fear is lurking around every corner. But I want to encourage you – it’s never too late to tackle your fears.
One might hear the word “fear” and isolate it to the big things – heights, public speaking, dogs, etc. But it can be smaller things like not applying for a job that you’re not 10 out of 10 qualified for, not going to a network event because you think it’s out of your league, or being afraid to pray out loud when the opportunity arises. Maybe note the times you say “yes, but I’m afraid that…”. You might think it’s just a figure of speech, but is it? Or is it a mental block that is holding you back from moving forward?
I ran across this quote somewhere: “The fears you don’t face become your regrets. Today be brave.” I wrote it down and have it pinned up in my office. Because fear exacts a payment, my friends. There is a cost to succumbing to your fears and letting it run your life. It packs on regret and that is something no one wants to have to face at the end of their life.
Pray and ask the Holy Spirit where fear is showing up in your life – usually in the way of avoidance or maintaining comfort – and ask for Him to help you be brave and face it. He will.
